What Am I Doing with My Life?
Have you ever had people ask you, repeatedly, about what you’re doing with your work life? I get it—I’m fifty-five. People think I should have it all figured out by now. I don’t. But I keep getting the same questions, often from the same people, and they feel less like curiosity and more like judgment. I’m trying really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt—which is why I keep answering the same questions over and over.
I was laid off on February 6 after having spent 29 years with the same company. I’ve been out of corporate life for six months.
You may have noticed that I’ve been building something: A digital lifestyle publication for women fifty and over. I launched a newsletter a few months ago and transformed my one-page morning practice worksheet into an actual fourteen-page guide with prompts and visuals.
Plus, I signed a contract to provide swag for the welcome bags for The Chicago Planner Conference in November. I am so excited (and terrified) about that one. So why has my level of frustration reached a tipping point?
This is a conversation I have at least twice a week:
Person A: How’s the job search?
Me: I haven’t been searching—I’ve been writing my heart out.
Person A: Oh, what are you writing?
Me: I started a lifestyle publication and newsletter for women fifty and over—though all are welcome.
Person A: Oh, how do you make money from that?
Me: Well, advertising, sponsorships, products, courses—and my explanation goes from there.
(Maybe I should start carrying my business plan—yes, I actually have one.)
Here’s the thing—what I’m building and where I’m headed is usually pretty clear in my head. Until I get a litany of questions. Multiple times a week. Then I start to doubt myself and what I’m doing. Which, not for nothing, feels a little unfair—I’ve only been at this whole build-an-empire thing for four months.
Earlier this week, I started spiraling, so I texted a former colleague whose layoff came a year before my own. I figured she would understand where I was coming from, and of course she did. And I appreciate her talking me down.
Though truthfully, my confidence was still shaky, so I asked my bff ChatGPT what to do with this situation. This was the suggestion:
Person A: What are you writing?
Me: I founded a lifestyle publication for women fifty and over.
Person A: How will it make money?
Me: I have some ideas, but I’m not focused on monetizing it right now.
Then came the sentence I really needed to hear:
They don’t need to understand it for it to be legitimate.
Most of the time, I think it’s genuine curiosity driving the questions. And ultimately, people are supportive. I think it’s the money question that gets me. If I told people I’d launched a nonprofit, there would be no need to ask the money question. And truth be told—why do people care whether I’ll make any money? Fear that I’ll ask for a loan? Or to move in with them?
I started this adventure because I felt like women fifty and over were underserved. I fall into that category, so I know it’s more than a hunch. And I decided to do something about it.
Will I make money from this endeavor? Yes. Probably. Maybe? Honestly, I don’t know. But I’m going to try. My mother used to say, “Nothing beats a failure but a try.” She was the wisest person I’ve ever known. And boy do I miss her.
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly justifying the decisions you make for your own life?
You got this! ❤️
Thank you! 😊
You know what I would have to say to anyone questioning you like that! You’ve got this – we need what you uniquely and beautifully have to offer!
Thank you!!!😘
I can only imagine the frustration. It wasn’t like you decided to leave life through you a pivot that you didn’t see coming. But I am so glad that you are focusing on something to do at this time rather than feeling defeated.
Thank you! I’m learning soo much. But it is definitely a journey. 🙂
Oh, friend I get it! I’ve been reinvented so many times. Best advice I can give is make it powerful and something that flows off your tongue. “oh my gosh, I’m so excited about what I’m doing! I created a newsletter and lifestyle blog for people like me! Here’s the info – you should subscribe now while it’s still free. ;)”
Bev–you are the best! I am cracking up at the marketing angle, subscribe while it’s still free! 🤣 Thank you!
Tara,,
I feel what you have chosen to create is inspirational, creative, and impactful.
What money you make or don’t is no one’s business but yours . It think it is incredibly rude to ask that question.
Jut keep doing you 🥰
.
Thank you! Georgie, you have been so incredibly supportive and encouraging and I can’t thank you enough. But thank you! 😊
While you do not know the definitive, indeed you have a plan. One of the biggest assurances is that there is a plan for you, God’s plan and He will never plan harm for you. He knows the desires of your heart. So with a cheerleader like that in your corner even if you have a time with a slight pivot you are progressing through your dream. Your vision! Go get it! Congratulations on your accomplishments this far!
Thank you sooo much!!! 💕 I’m leaning on my faith–hard. Thank you for the encouragement and support. You’re an awesome cheerleader! 😘
This is such a real thing.
I think there is a deeper question that people are asking, “how can you support yourself if you’re not making money.” You deciding to follow your passion runs smack dab into their inner desires to follow their own passions. And if you ask them why they aren’t following their passion, more often than not, it’s MONEY. So at the heart of their question is curiosity and confusion. They haven’t been able to figure out how to pursue their passion or haven’t got the courage to pursue their passion and you’re a shiny mirror reflecting their internal desires and struggle.
Also, sharing your dreams, goals, and current aspirations with people who don’t share your current mindset will most often end with them only seeing the obstacles. It’s not intentional, and it’s also not their dream. You can protect your feelings by responding with “I’m working on an entrepreneurial endeavor and I’m not quite ready to share the details yet, but I’d love your support when the time comes”. This will usually box the conversation in.
Keep pressing.
Thank you Bernadette!!! 🩷 I think you nailed the underlying issue, very eloquently. It’s interesting, because I would never think to ask a lot of the questions I’m getting. And most of my conversations do land with, I’ll subscribe or follow you, etc. But getting there can be an exercise in patience. But press on I shall!
I love that you’re pursuing your passion and I love your newsletter. You got this!
Thank you sooo much for your support and for being a subscriber!!! 😘