A few weeks ago I was having a panic attack. It’s not a regular occurrence for me–thankfully–but none-the-less, it happened. While I was trying to calm myself down, Sarge came over and jumped up at me as if to say, “It’s ok.” Eventually, it was–sort of.
Since the panic attack happened in the evening, at some point I had to go to bed. Now, Sarge has a bed of his own, on the floor, on the opposite side of the bed that I sleep on. But because of my anxiety level–which I assume he could sense because he’s a dog–he didn’t sleep in his bed. No, instead he slept on the floor next to the side of the bed I sleep on. But truth be told he didn’t really sleep. I, myself was up until 3:30am. Every time I looked down at Sarge he was laying down with his head up and he’d look at me as if to say, “It’s ok, I’m here and I’ve got this.”
I’ve never understood how anyone can be unkind to animals and I never will. Yes, Sarge was the reason I fell a few weeks ago and had a limp for several days. Yes, as a puppy he chewed my bluetooth, several pairs of shoes, and a library book I was not only unable to return–but didn’t finish and had to pay to replace. But he’s also the dog that greets me at the door when I come home; Cuddles with me every night before we go to bed; Gives me kisses before I go back to work at lunch time; And stays up all night to watch over me when I’m on edge and can’t sleep. Who couldn’t love all that?
For those that know me, what brought on the panic attack was something called entomophobia–an irrational fear of insects. A lot of people find my condition funny–though I have no idea why. I don’t laugh at people who are claustrophobic, or those afraid of heights. But for some reason it’s not until I tell people who I have panic attacks at the site of a stink bug in my house that they stop laughing. I’m seeing a hypnotist for my condition this week. I am incredibly hopeful that this will be the cure I need to be able to live my life free of what has become a debilitating condition and will give Sarge and myself the peace of mind to sleep easy. Stay tuned.